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September 2011

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I've decided that my 50mg of Zoloft is just a placebo. That said, I think I'll take it forever...

Wishing you luck on the IF front.


Well, if I could find a pill that

(1) Didn't have any side effects. Just got rid of my mood problems & did absolutely nothing else

(2) Wasn't crazy ridiculous expensive. I just don't feel right taking some pill that costs $900 a month even if insurance is paying

(3) Actually worked--I guess (1) covers that...for some period of time. Steadily worked--not just slight improvement, back to status quo.

(4) Didn't tend to make me not do as much. Being scared & off meds is highly motivating for me. Miss yoga? FUCK NO! I'm afraid. (Well, OK I have been missing yoga this month and so I'm crazy.)

I don't know--if there was some kind of harmless pill that magically fixed everything and did nothing else. FUCK YEAH I'd take it!

Maybe for some people it's like that.

I'm always trying to use the placebo effect on myself by taking homeopathic medicine. It works pretty often!


I'm with you on the meds front. Pail nearly did me in and made me fat to boot. Other meds did the same. Every medication merely altered my negative symptoms, taking the old and giving me new ones. I've decided to stick with what I know and deal with the inmedicated me. It's a bitch, but it's a bitch I like more.


to me, it's an issue of bodily sovereignty. basic human right: to do with my corpus as i, and only i, see fit. i only arrived at this understanding recently, but i don't really understand how i got this old without it.


It's interesting to come across this post today-- one of those confluences (?) of thought that probably just happen every now and then but feel so significant when they do. I recently had to go off a medication I've been on for the better part of a year, prescribed to manage my manic-depression. I've been fine, for the most part, and I still see my therapists regularly, but it's been terrifying-- I feel like my tightrope act is suddenly being performed without a net.

My medication seemed to work well-- I didn't have any episodes while on it. But it made my hands shake to the point that it got in the way of my work. I'm looking for a different kind of employment, that doesn't require so much of my hands. Is this ideal? probably not. I'm not sure what the right answer is, and deciding not to trust my doctors doesn't seem helpful, either, in the long run.

Gah. I don't know. But it's good to hear some different thoughts about the issue. Good luck in your quest to figure it all out. If you do, let me know!


It's like we have done a time warp back to the 1950s. Instead of tranqs, electric shock treatments, etc. we now have these other meds, which are supposed to deal with the largely "feminine" mental health issues--the nervous conditions, anxiety, depression. Yes, I know men suffer from these conditions as well. But to me it seems like an answer by patriarchal/societal status quo, wanting to medicate people TO SHUT THEM UP.

Obviously I don't have any answers. But I believe that millions of people medicate themselves with no tangible or lasting benefits.

I know many people wish for death. Some stick their heads in the oven, or fill their pockets with stones and walk into the sea. Or they drive over a bridge. It is tragic. Some people feel too much.


Aw Roo, that sounds bad. I'm sorry. I wish I did have it all figured out.

I've just figured out things for me, not for anyone else.

Basically for me, I figured out it is actually *better* to tough it out. Even when it lasts a long time. But maybe I am somewhat better now and maybe this wouldn't have worked before. I don't know!

I just want to put this idea out there because I don't find it out there.

I'll be thinking of you & hoping it gets easier!


Juli that's a good thing to remember--the failures of past solutions. Before we get too sure of our current solutions.

I heard someone talking about some new data about how antidepressants burn out certain pathways in the brain--in some people. It worried me. But it might be hokum! Still, it seems likely there are some effects we won't know about.

It just does not seem plausible to say: These highly complex chemical compounds change the way neurotransmitters, etc. operate. Yet, they are UTTERLY harmless and cause no other problems whatsoever.

Do we hear about their harms though? No we do not. Do people make a HUGE amount of money on them? They sure do! Is it harder to find out the truth of things when someone is making a ton of money as long as you believe the thing is good? Yes, it is.

So this is just a bunch of flimsy things pointing to the message: Be a bit careful! Not some damning set of evidence. But alas, we do not hear much about how or why to be careful or what else one can do to deal with these problems anymore. This is what worries me. The lack of options for people.


Well, I've been fighting the winter/unemployment blues, but historically, and given my circumstances, that's not too unusual for me. I've been off the meds for about two months now, and I feel basically fine. And my hands don't shake.

On the other hand, when I mention to my non-psychiatrist doctors that I have bipolar and I'm not taking meds at the moment, they freak out. This is tiresome-- particularly since I have a team of mental health professionals I still consult regularly, even though they aren't prescribing. Is medication the only viable therapy? If so, why is talk therapy even an option? If it doesn't do anything, why is it recommended for people with mental health issues? Why do insurance companies pay for it?

Something is decidedly off here.

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